MechWarrior 2: Resource Forum

True story,

A truck-driver "guy" is driving his freight truck down the interstate, just doing his job, you know...

Anyway, he sees in the corner of his eye, a J.B.Hunt freight truck, and in the cab of the truck he sees the driver...
standing up in the truck while driving!

Well, "guy" picks up his CB radio remote, and channels in the J.B.Hunt driver and says:
"Why the heck are you standing-up in your cab, man?!"

The other driver replies: "oh, man... I-- I, I just took a dump in my own pants..."

Guy radios back and says: "But why are you still standing up?"

Driver ends the conversation and replies: "Cuz I ain't finished yet..."

Not funny? It's a good trucker story! Oh, you should know what they say on truck CB radio too!
You would have thought it was funny had you been there, Pepsi.

Do you know what I eat every time I get up in the morning?

















Kellogg's cereal.

I should probably be working...

Who would you hang first??? A banjo player, or an accordian player?




...?

both
lulz

A young kid is assigned with his kindergarden assignment; to know the first 5 letters of the alphabet.

The kid goes around his house, asking members of his family what those letters were.
First, he goes to his older brother, the kid says to him "What's the first letter of the alphabet?", the older brother says "Shut up punk, before I punch you in the face."
Then he goes to his younger brother who is watching TV, kid asks "What's the second letter of the alphabet?" the younger brother shouts "Daanaanaanaanaanaa, Batman!"
He goes to his older sister who is on the phone, he asks her "What's the third letter of the alphabet?" And she cries "You're breaking up with me?!?"
He goes to his dad who is watching the big game and asks what the 4th letter of the alphabet is, his dad says "49ers! Hittem' hard!"
He goes to his mom who's baking in the kitchen and asks for the 5th one, she says "My buns are burning! My buns are burning!"

The next day at school his teacher she asks him, "What are the first 5 letters of the alphabet?" The kid says "Shutup punk, or I'll punch you in the face."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY??? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE???" he says "daanaanaanaanaanaa, Batman!"
"I'm going to send you to the principals office!" he says "You're breaking up with me?!?"
"That's it, I'm going to have to whip you. How many do you want?" "49ers! Hittem' hard!"
So she whips him as hard as she can, and he yells "My buns are burning! My buns are burning!"

heh i saw that one a mile away, but i think that was the best one out of all of these.

...Answer: Banjo Player



That's right, business before pleasure.


Got that from a banjo player.






Here's another:

How do you tell the difference between a banjo run over by a car, and a skunk ran over by a car?





There's usually skid marks before the skunk.






And a last one I got from a real old timer at church....
Why does a bride wear white?






So the dishwasher matches the refrigerator.




all bad, I know.

There is a one-legged woman, she works at where?














iHop.














There is a blind man, where does he work?














Popeye's Chicken. xD