Kindly help a foreigner understand IRC slang

[Skyfaller]

I'll never understand what AFK means without help:

Out for coffee? (A from pronounciation of "out")
Along for kicks?
Aiming for a Kodiak?
Aching for Karma?
After fair combat?
Assigned for championship?
Armored fun killers?
Assassins for cash?
Ascaping from capture? (Don't write escape with A in school ...!)
Away from king and country?
Accelerating fat consumption?
Angels filling cages?

Please post some fun interpretations, one of those may contain the usual meaning.

[Skyfaller]

As Stealth kindly pointed out in IRC, it simply means "Away from keyboard". Nothing sinister about that at all, so please share your alternative understandings of this abbreviation here.

[Pepsi-Wolf]

lulz
away from keyboard

[Col.Kell]

Those all mean the same thing? "Away"?